The Wagon is Officially Empty

Emily,

Well it's come. It's gone. Back to life and reality, right? Valentine's day is over, thankfully, but I was kicked off the wagon this weekend like whoa. So Emily, let's just play in the streets for a little while since we're both off it right now.

First, let's address your letter. On the Michelle Obama note, I saw Just Go With It last night and damn...Jenn Anniston's arms are amazing. And I can't say I've seen the first lady's arms but if they do look like that then seriously...I'm impressed. On the Kardashian note: I've only been exposed to angry birds once and being that I still live in the blackberry world and refuse to get a touch screen, I'm going to just leave that alone. But good for her if she's a 6...or even an 8! I'd love to be that right now. And yes, a lot of black women do get away with being heavier. I know this may sound a little bit racially questionable but I was just thinking about this the other night while watching the Grammy's. Jennifer Hudson - looks like a different person than she did 2 years ago. Like, completely different person. She looks amazing right now (thanks to WW and working out), but I didn't ever think she was unattractive as a larger woman. Seriously, she's always been an attractive woman, even full-figured. She pulls it off. But let's look at Christina Aguilera. When she plumped up it was totally frowned upon. I mean, come on, she had a baby! And she honestly looked sick when she was super thin, but the tabloids ripped her apart when she put on 15 lbs. But ok...enough about superstars, let's get back to why the Wagon is Officially Empty.

So my liver decided it wanted to drown itself on Saturday and to fight back, my stomach required me to eat the most unhealthy things I think I've ever put in my mouth, including Taco Bell. Let the record show that I have not eaten at a Taco Bell in about 15 years. Not even in college, late night. Not even when that skinny bitch showed up on TV and said there was such a thing as a Taco Bell diet. Not even when that little chiuaua used to be on the commercials. And especially not after the recent article about Taco Bell having some random "filler" as opposed to actual meat in their foods. And when I was a kid, I didn't ever eat anything except chips and some plastic-like cheese dip when my brother wanted to go there for dinner.

But this weekend was different. This weekend I decided that I should day-drink at Oysterfest from about 1pm til about midnight and not eat anything after 3:00 in the afternoon. Smart decisions. Always. So when I finally woke up on Sunday morning, to keep from fainting when I got out of bed, I ate the first thing that was put in front of me: a Taco Bell taco that my friend Geoff had just picked up. Did I care that it was 10am? No. Did I even realize what I was eating until I ate the last bite? No. All I cared about was that I was more dehydrated than I think I'd ever been in my life and if I didn't eat and drink something right away, I was sure I was going to die of starvation and dehydration. I had the shakes. I was paler than usual. I was seeing spots. I foresaw myself collapsing to the floor and hitting my head on the bedside table if I didn't get something of substance into my system. And that something just happened to be taco bell.

And unfortuately for me, the poor decisions did not stop there. No, I then ate an everything bagel, followed by salmon, cheese grits, salad, asparagus (yaaayyy veggies!) and then later cheese dip, chips and steak fajitas. I didn't even pretend to track the points. What's the use at that point? I already drank my weekly points away with Red Stripe Light and Jager Bombs the afternoon before.  All my efforts from last week went right down the shitter.

And let's be honest, I knew that a rather depressing day was ahead of me so I just buried myself in self-destruction and let the fatness wash over me again yesterday. I figured, "I'm allowed to have a fat day (or 3)". I just have to snap myself back into my good routine tomorrow. So that's what I'm planning to do. I didn't weigh in last night. Instead I sat on my ass at the movies w/ my roommate Christy and polished off a medium popcorn almost completely by myself (with butter). The only thing I DID stay away from yesterday was the candy. But Emily, let's be honest, if someone had given me chocolates, I would have done exactly the same thing. Polished off the box probably in just one sitting. Eaten even the nasty ones with cherry filling or some crap like that. But alas, I don't have my own Nick just yet so I was at least saved from that.

I'm hoping that today will be different. I've got to get my head back in the game and thankfully, blogging about it does actually help my efforts. So I'm back to tracking this week. And hopefully next week I'll be seeing a loss (even if it's small). If I'm going to lose 7 more lbs in a month then I need to actually get it together and try.

No boy band news today except........I got my NKOTBSB tickets in the mail yesterday!!!!! Best. Valentine's. Gift. EVER.

Talk to you soon!

~Sarah