My Sweet Downfall

Dear Emily,


So I can't control my cravings for all things sweet. I think this is a vicious cycle. Once you have one thing sweet for the week, you have to have another, and another, and another. Right now I've got a half-eaten pack of Starbursts sitting in front of me. I'm trying to put it away in my drawer at my desk but it's calling out to me.


Let's go back to where this sweet tooth started from. It all began on Wednesday. I had my monthly visitor show up on Wednesday which made me feel completely bloated and uncomfortable all day. But I was slightly comforted that it was my time of the month because maybe that's why I didn't lose any weight last week. Anyway, I couldn't help myself. I came home and all I could think about was how I really wanted a piece of chocolate but that semi-sweet morsels weren't going to cut it. I almost drove out to the nearest gas station to end my cravings but then my roommate remembered she had some chocolate left over from Christmas. So I grabbed a Reisen and a Reese's and I thought that would suffice. It did make me less cranky and it was absolutely delicious. Then my roommate took a phone call and left me in the living room with her bag of candy. I was like a 6 year old who'd never had sugar before! I had 2 more Reese's, 5 more Reisen's and a Kit Kat Bar. Finally I felt really guilty and threw what was left of the bag underneath the sofa. Out of sight, out of mind, right?


Thursday wasn't so bad. I snuck a mini-crunch bar out of one of the offices at work, but that was the worst of the damage for the day.


Thankfully, Friday I didn't have time to think about sweets since I was so busy at work and then had to go straight to downtown Atlanta to work the Hawks game that night. I was tempted there though, by the plate of chocolate chip and fudge brownies and cookies. Thankfully concierge's at the suites are not allowed to eat the guest food and we had LOTS of kids in the suite so the dessert plate was gone before I had a chance to sneak one.


Then we came to Saturday. Well Saturday was where it all turned to crap. I had margaritas at lunch, followed by Yoforia after. We're talking 2 flavors, filling the giant cup they give you, chocolate chips and strawberries (thank God for the strawberries). Now granted, Yoforia is only 25 calories for 1 oz - pretty good huh? But I definitely had more than one ounce. Probably close to 4 or 5 ounces. Or maybe it was 8 oz. I'm not really sure. All I know is it was delicious.


Last night, my roommate and I had a spur of the moment game night with some friends. We got home from our walk around Chastain Park and I jumped in the shower. When I exited the shower, all I could smell were chocolate chip cookies. oh. my. gosh. They were unavoidable. And HUGE. And soooo delicious. These were home-made chocolate chip cookies. So yes, I had 2 of them. I shouldn't have but...what's done is done.


And as for today, I actually went to the vending machine to get a pack of M&Ms but they only have the peanut kind and I'm pretty sure that the nuts would make it fattier than regular chocolate. So I opted for Starbursts because at least they're individually wrapped and I don't have to eat the whole package. But one thing they tell you that's totally not true: "The first bite is just as delicious as the last bite, so limit yourself to one." Right. Except there's four different flavors so I have to have four bites, not just one. So I do. I have 4. And then I decide, well I'm 1/3 of the way through, why not have another 2 and make it 1/2 the package. It's not even the original Starburst pack either! It's the tropical kind. Which is surprisingly better than I remember as a kid. I didn't think I'd like the mango flavor but it was quite tasty. And I never knew the yellow was pina colada as a child. Delicious! And of course, the pink and purple flavors are always good: Strawberry Banana and Royal Berry Punch. Yes and please.


But I totally feel like it's a vicious cycle. Like I can't break the habit once I've had sweets at least once for the week. My craving just keeps coming back. I guess it's a lot like any other addiction. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. Maybe I can pretend to be Catholic or Episcopalian when Ash Wednesday rolls around and give up sweets. I dunno. WW can be hard enough and people always say you shouldn't deprive yourself. But I guess if I'm giving it up for God then it's not the same thing? ::sigh::

So I know tomorrow's your weigh in...how has the last week gone for you? Hopefully it wasn't quite as bad as mine as far as the sweets go. I somehow managed to lose this week so I'm officially out of the 50s and into the 40s which is a nice feeling. Send me an update! I need my accountability partner!

In other news, I've put together a list of all the "where are they now" boy bands that we'll need to research and report on in the coming weeks. So stoked. I think I'm going to start with 5ive. Get ready.

Love,
Sarah