Thursday, April 28, 2011


Hey Emily,

I'm sure you saw this, but I unfortunately missed this amazing night. I was even told to DVR it and I completely forgot - probably because DWTS is not something I ever watch. But thank God for Youtube. Today's post is just 2 amazing videos. OMG, I absolutely cannot WAIT for June!! Enjoy:

Don't Turn Out The Lights!

I Want it That Way & Step By Step:

Seriously, June 22 can't get here fast enough...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

New Milestone

Hey Emily,

Well it's been a hot minute since either of us wrote to one another but I thought I'd update you on my status here: I've officially lost 15 lbs as of last night. This has been the slowest 15 lbs of my life but I'm pretty freakin stoked about it. I celebrated with a 1/2 pint of pinkberry last night after my Body Combat class. What's Body Combat you ask? Only the most amazing work-out class ever. I joined this gym called Adrenaline Fitness 2 weeks ago - well I didn't actually "join" so much as I redeemed a groupon and I'm milking it for all it's worth. Body Combat is basically a kick-boxing/hand to hand combat type of class that focuses on punching, uppercuts, kicks, jabs, etc - so basically Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter circa Super Nintendo years. Minus the flaming blue ball that killed E.Honda every time. Oh and it's all done to amazing kick-ass music that seriously pumps you up. It's such an endorphins class. I am exhausted but flying high after the class is over - it's amazing. I also have been doing Body Pump, RPM, and Hot Yoga classes and I'm seriously loving it all. Except I almost always pass out in hot yoga, but talk about a detox. I swear I drop 1-2 lbs just from sitting in there. Add in yoga poses and stretches? Yeah 3-4 lbs. Definitely.

I have to say that tracking and staying on target with points hasn't really been my forte recently, but I'm going to be better about it this week. I'm officially at 140.6 and I've got 2 weeks left on my pass (coincidentally a little over 2 weeks before Barbie & Ken's wedding). I'm hoping I can knock through that 140 barrier and maybe be at 135 by the time the big day rolls around. There may or may not be a couple of cute guys that I've had my eye on for a little while who will be in attendance at this wedding and I definitely want to look my best. Yaayyy mini-goals. Anyway, it's going to be a little bit tough because I'm going to NYC a week from this Friday. And lord knows I'm going to have cupcakes and delicious other foods while I'm there. Hoping to bring some workout clothes and run in central park but we'll see how that goes.

So what about you? I need to hear about your progress and how things are going since our last convo. I ran into Michelle and Sally last week and Michelle is soooo excited about BSB in a couple months. My concert is less than 2 months away! We are all super pumped about it!!! Michelle also mentioned something about coming out there in September - which I could totally get behind. I think I could save up enough between now and then to make it happen. Ugh, I miss you a ton. Please send an update soon!


Friday, March 4, 2011

Month 2 Update and Month 3 Forecast

Hey Emily,

So...been a while since I or you updated this, figure it's time to get back to this thing called blogging. So Monday was kind of awesome but it kind of really sucked. I lost 1.4 lbs last week which puts me at 9.8 total since January 3rd. Not too shabby. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm really pretty pissed at the same time. I worked out 4 times last week, didn't go out Friday OR Saturday night. And yes, I had 2 glasses of wine w/ dinner on Sunday but seriously?? I was expecting to at LEAST hit my 10 lb mark and possibly lose over 2 lbs last week. Seriously, I was really good. I barely touched my weekly points because I worked out so much. What the eff? I suppose I could partly blame mother nature because I was bloated ALL week last week but despite that I was sure I was going to hit 10. 

You're probably thinking .2 lbs away from your 10 lb mark is really good. Stop complaining. And I get that. But it's frustrating just the same. I reeeaaallly want to hit 15 before I go visit Sam at the end of the month but that's 3 weeks away and 5.2 is a lot to lose in 3 weeks. But I am definitely going to try. Like I've mentioned before, I'll be in Chicago for a bacheloretty party, surrounded by size 0, 2 and 4 wanting to tie them all down and force feed them lard. If I can make it to 140 before the trip I'll be able to fit into some old (but awesome) dresses that I love and then maybe I won't feel like a whale next to them. I know it's petty, this whole comparing myself to others thing. But the truth is, swimsuit season is rapidly approaching and if I don't meet this mini-goal of 140 before Chicago, I better make it the next week. I don't have time to waste if I don't want to look like a cow. 

If I can lose over 1 lb this week then I'll be super proud of myself because I've only gotten to work out once so far this week. I plan to run tonight, tomorrow morning and sunday morning but chances are one of those runs won't happen.

In order to expidite some of this weight loss, I'm going to actually give up some things for Lent, which starts this coming Wednesday. I'm thinking about liquor (that includes jager and o-bombs), bagels, pizza (even the WW kind), and cheese dip/chips. I know that seems pretty extreme. Why give up all of that, right? Well, these are all things that I LOVE. When I go out on the weekends, I like to have a jager bomb or an o-bomb to really get my night going. It kind of expidites the drinking experience. But jager and red bull are LOADED with empty calories. Bagels - this will be a HUGE challenge. Because this will include Bagel Thins, which have become my go-to sandwich of choice from Einstein's. It saves me about 5 points by getting a thin but it would be a true sacrifice if I gave this up. Pizza - I'm not going to lie, I cheat about once a week and get a personal pan pizza from target. These come in at a whopping 18 points. Which leaves me with 11 for breakfast and dinner - unless I work out. Giving this up would also be a challenge because every time I walk into Target they smell soooo good. But I go to target a lot to shop during my lunch hour, break up the monotony of the day. If I give up Pizza though, I'll be less tempted to go to Target in the first place.  Cheese Dip & Chips - this has actually been something I've not eaten much of at all since I started WW. It's definitely one of the reasons I gained weight in the first place though. Giving this up will be tougher and tougher to do as it gets warm outside and the days get longer. Friends will ask me to join them for a Happy Hour at Tin Lizzy's or La Cozuela and it's going to be hard to pass up when it's gorgeous outside.

What are your thoughts on Lent? Will you use that opportunity to help improve your weight loss? Are you back on the wagon again (I hope so!)? Is Nick helping? Is he losing any weight since you've changed your diet? I need an update!

Oh and speaking of Nick, guess what the Backstreet Boys posted today?

This was pre-Brian and Kevin joining the group. There was Sam Licata and Charles Edwards originally in the band. Crazy shiz. Have you heard this before? You can definitely tell when AJ and Howie are singing. Pretty sure Nick was younger than Bieber when this song was originally recorded. They re-recorded it when Brian and Kevin joined the group but never released it because it was out-dated by the time they produced. I just wish there was a music video...

Hope to hear from you soon Em.


Monday, February 21, 2011



Ok, the saturday day drinking needs to stop. Seriously, this is the 2nd outdoor festival in 2 weeks where the beer was flowing and I didn't keep track at all. I never ended up weighing in last week so I have no idea what these two beer festivals have done to my progress and I'm sure you can imagine how devastated I'll be if I gain this week. But it's my own fault. I am still super dehydrated from the weekend and I'm trying to drink 2 gallons of water today just so that I'm not retaining water at my weigh in. I'm on my 5th tervis tumbler today. Still need to hit probably 2-3 more before I leave, and of course pee right before I weigh in. Do you do tricks like this on your weigh-in day?

How did last Thursday go. Please tell me you went and weighed in. Hopefully you've seen a loss?

I know I've mentioned this to you before but I need to write it out again so that I can keep it in the forefront of my mind. My mini goals:
  • Lose 15 total pounds before I visit Sam in Chicago (March 24): Well, we're almost in March and depending on how well I do tonight, this might be a tough goal to pull off. I was down 8 lbs 2 weeks ago but if I'm back up then I'll need to lose more than 8 lbs in about 4 weeks. Something that's attainable but not easy.
  • Lose another 10 lbs by my friend's wedding (May 14): I'll have approximately a month and a half from the Chicago trip to pull this off. It'll be tight but so will my dress if I don't make this happen.
  • Lose another 5-10 by the fourth of July: I'll have to see just how difficult this will be. Last time I did WW, I completely lost focus and could NOT break the 130 mark. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it this time either, but I'd like to think I can. I'm tired of feeling frumpy and gross in a 2-piece. Especially when I've got 2 roommates who look amazing in bikini's. And by the time July 4th rolls around we'll all be showing some skin so I'd rather not feel flabby next to my friends. Part of this has to do with toning up. And part of it just has to do w/ eating better.
So...those are my mini goals. I think they're attainable and definitely something I'm going to work my ass of for over the next 3-4 months.

Have you set mini-goals for yourself? What are they??

Ok, I've been procrastinating long enough, back to work on this glorious President's Day. Ciao!


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Wagon is Officially Empty


Well it's come. It's gone. Back to life and reality, right? Valentine's day is over, thankfully, but I was kicked off the wagon this weekend like whoa. So Emily, let's just play in the streets for a little while since we're both off it right now.

First, let's address your letter. On the Michelle Obama note, I saw Just Go With It last night and damn...Jenn Anniston's arms are amazing. And I can't say I've seen the first lady's arms but if they do look like that then seriously...I'm impressed. On the Kardashian note: I've only been exposed to angry birds once and being that I still live in the blackberry world and refuse to get a touch screen, I'm going to just leave that alone. But good for her if she's a 6...or even an 8! I'd love to be that right now. And yes, a lot of black women do get away with being heavier. I know this may sound a little bit racially questionable but I was just thinking about this the other night while watching the Grammy's. Jennifer Hudson - looks like a different person than she did 2 years ago. Like, completely different person. She looks amazing right now (thanks to WW and working out), but I didn't ever think she was unattractive as a larger woman. Seriously, she's always been an attractive woman, even full-figured. She pulls it off. But let's look at Christina Aguilera. When she plumped up it was totally frowned upon. I mean, come on, she had a baby! And she honestly looked sick when she was super thin, but the tabloids ripped her apart when she put on 15 lbs. But ok...enough about superstars, let's get back to why the Wagon is Officially Empty.

So my liver decided it wanted to drown itself on Saturday and to fight back, my stomach required me to eat the most unhealthy things I think I've ever put in my mouth, including Taco Bell. Let the record show that I have not eaten at a Taco Bell in about 15 years. Not even in college, late night. Not even when that skinny bitch showed up on TV and said there was such a thing as a Taco Bell diet. Not even when that little chiuaua used to be on the commercials. And especially not after the recent article about Taco Bell having some random "filler" as opposed to actual meat in their foods. And when I was a kid, I didn't ever eat anything except chips and some plastic-like cheese dip when my brother wanted to go there for dinner.

But this weekend was different. This weekend I decided that I should day-drink at Oysterfest from about 1pm til about midnight and not eat anything after 3:00 in the afternoon. Smart decisions. Always. So when I finally woke up on Sunday morning, to keep from fainting when I got out of bed, I ate the first thing that was put in front of me: a Taco Bell taco that my friend Geoff had just picked up. Did I care that it was 10am? No. Did I even realize what I was eating until I ate the last bite? No. All I cared about was that I was more dehydrated than I think I'd ever been in my life and if I didn't eat and drink something right away, I was sure I was going to die of starvation and dehydration. I had the shakes. I was paler than usual. I was seeing spots. I foresaw myself collapsing to the floor and hitting my head on the bedside table if I didn't get something of substance into my system. And that something just happened to be taco bell.

And unfortuately for me, the poor decisions did not stop there. No, I then ate an everything bagel, followed by salmon, cheese grits, salad, asparagus (yaaayyy veggies!) and then later cheese dip, chips and steak fajitas. I didn't even pretend to track the points. What's the use at that point? I already drank my weekly points away with Red Stripe Light and Jager Bombs the afternoon before.  All my efforts from last week went right down the shitter.

And let's be honest, I knew that a rather depressing day was ahead of me so I just buried myself in self-destruction and let the fatness wash over me again yesterday. I figured, "I'm allowed to have a fat day (or 3)". I just have to snap myself back into my good routine tomorrow. So that's what I'm planning to do. I didn't weigh in last night. Instead I sat on my ass at the movies w/ my roommate Christy and polished off a medium popcorn almost completely by myself (with butter). The only thing I DID stay away from yesterday was the candy. But Emily, let's be honest, if someone had given me chocolates, I would have done exactly the same thing. Polished off the box probably in just one sitting. Eaten even the nasty ones with cherry filling or some crap like that. But alas, I don't have my own Nick just yet so I was at least saved from that.

I'm hoping that today will be different. I've got to get my head back in the game and thankfully, blogging about it does actually help my efforts. So I'm back to tracking this week. And hopefully next week I'll be seeing a loss (even if it's small). If I'm going to lose 7 more lbs in a month then I need to actually get it together and try.

No boy band news today except........I got my NKOTBSB tickets in the mail yesterday!!!!! Best. Valentine's. Gift. EVER.

Talk to you soon!


Sunday, February 13, 2011

The wagon has a weight limit.


Holler. Well, I have officially fallen off the wagon. Again. And you know what I think the two biggest reasons are? Alcohol and not having groceries in my house (excuse me, glorified shoebox). First I'll address your letter. February does suck. I have Nick, and I still hate stupid Valentine's Day. It doesn't mean anything. Just another excuse to eat "just one more" chocolate out of those tacky red hearts. 30% of those chocolates are disgusting, yet I still manage to shovel each and every one into my mouth (that's what she said), leaving the grossest ones for last. Patheticville. I understand your struggle with cheese. Even Velveeta, which shouldn't really count as cheese because let's be honest, it's closer to a block of salty Play-Doh than it is to real cheese. But I get it. It's delicious. And paired with ground beef and salsa. Come on. It's like a gift from the fat gods. I wouldn't have passed that up either. I will say this. The nice thing about living in San Francisco is that despite having really good Mexican food, cheese dip is not a big thing here. Some places have it, but it's nothing like the kind we get at Taqueria Del Sol or Taxco (RIP). At least that's one less temptation to overcome.

Now I need to address the bitch who called Michelle Obama fat. I'm sorry, but what part about that woman is flabby? Have you seen her arms? They're a lot like Jennifer Aniston's, who arguably, with the exception of maybe Halle Berry, has the best arms in Hollywood. Whoever said that should be kicked in the shins or the nuts, depending on that person's gender. Moving on to Khloe Kardashian. I think the girl deserves a break. Her face is ugly, and no matter how banging her body gets, she can't do anything about her face. I guess she could, but she'd run the risk of pulling a Heidi Montag. It's sad, really. She looks like one of the green pigs from Angry Birds. I believe that she's a size 6. Possibly an 8. Look at a recent picture of her and put your thumb over her face. It changes the way you see her. I could never handle being famous. Remember when that was our ultimate goal in life? Yeah, I don't think I could do it now. Even though some famous women manage to get away with being bigger, and people don't seem to bat an eye. Let's discuss.

Queen Latifah. Adele. Sherri Shepherd. Kathy Bates. Missy Elliot. Mo'Nique. A lot of these women are black. I think society accepts big black women more than big white women. That's not racist. It just seems like the truth of the matter. And let's get one thing straight. Marilyn Monroe would not have worn a size 13 today, and she wouldn't be considered fat. I hate when people act like she's the face of curvy women. False. The woman was a human Barbie Doll, and even now she'd be considered a bombshell. Do you think JFK or Joe DiMaggio would've tapped a fat chick? Absolutely not.

On a side note, I just witnessed a man piss on a car. These are the sights to look forward to when you come visit me. That's the fifth time I've seen someone urinate in public, and I'm told you "get used to it". I might not be here for too much longer though. I've been talking to some other agencies in LA and Chicago, which means long distance with Nick. That I'm not looking forward to. But that's another story for another day. I need to address the reasons I've screwed up my weight loss as of late.

The past two weeks I have been puppy sitting for a co-worker of Nick's. I missed my Weight Watchers meeting twice in a row because of that. I find that when I miss meetings, I am terrible about tracking. It's almost like I think I have a free pass to stuff my face or something. And that's pretty much what I've done. I haven't tracked, and I've eaten like shit. Yesterday Nick and I went to the Haight-Ashbury area and got brunch. Well, brunch turned into ice cream which turned into dinner and beer. Not light beer. Delicious hoppy beer. Don't get me wrong, it was an awesome day, but I just pushed health to the side. This is something I really need to work on. I know the game of starving yourself just so you'll lose weight. Obviously not starving yourself to the point of danger (I am not capable of becoming anorexic). I get that though. The rest of this week I'm going to have to live on fruits and veggies. Otherwise I don't have a chance in hell. I have to go to the meeting this week. I have no excuse. I have no dog to look after. I have no weight loss updates because I haven't weighed myself. For a weight loss blogger, I'm doing a pretty shitty job so far. At least I've been honest though. I need to go grocery shopping because I am really good about what goes into my body when I cook for myself. It's such a ridiculously obvious statement, but I still need to be reminded of that frequently.

Some setbacks I see coming up this week: Valentine's Day and Nick's and my two year anniversary. We celebrate the two together because we're not really sure when we actually started dating. We hooked up for a while before commitment set in. Can you believe I've been dating someone for this long? Who knew it was possible? I'm sure we'll be drinking, and alcohol lowers all inhibitions. Not just the ones that cause you to sleep with ugly people. Alcohol makes me eat things I normally wouldn't. Alcohol makes me eat quantities I normally wouldn't. So, that is something to be uber conscious of this week.

In boy band news, Jonathan Knight from NKOTB recently came out of the closet. I guess all I have to say about that is another one bites the dust. No, it's not a death sentence to be gay. I love the gays. I just feel threatened when male pop stars come out of the closet. Not because I'm weirded out by the lifestyle, but because now there's a 0% chance they will ever want to sleep with me. Remember what I said about the whole propositioning deal? I want them to want to sleep with me even though I can't. If they're gay then my chances go from one in a billion to zip. I don't like those odds. Luckily, my favorites still parade around as hetero. All of BSB (including Kevin, who still needs to sack up and go on tour), Justin Timberlake, Jordan Knight, and Jesse McCartney (post 90s boy bands, I know, but I think he still falls in line with the rest). I guess it's fair though. Growing up, Sam must have had huge crushes on them but never thought there was a chance. Well, now he has a choice of Lance Bass, Ricky Martin, Jonathan, and, although I hate to admit it, probably a lot more. Sam's boyfriend is hot though so he probably doesn't care about any of those guys' sexuality; however, if Nick Carter were to swing his way I'm sure he'd change his tune.

This has been a long post, so I'll end with my depressing motivation of the week: A homeless man called me a fatass after I ignored his plea for money. I went home and cried.

Talk to you soon,


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

February Holidays


Oh February, how I loathe thee. Despite being the shortest month of the year, you still manage to try and ruin my weight loss efforts with your indulgent foods, spring coming early, and too many opportunities to party.

As I'm sure you can imagine, the superbowl is depressing enough - being around all that food, the cheese dips, the chicken wings, the hamburgers and hot dogs and knowing that you really need to limit yourself on what you eat. Yeah...I definitely struggled with that one on Sunday night. My friend Whit had a party and there was literally an entire crock-pot of velveeta, ground beef and salsa all mixed together with endless tortilla chips to dip into. I couldn't hold back. I HAD to try it. I'm pretty sure I haven't had queso all year (which isn't saying much but still) but it was way too good to pass up. I did stay away from the corn-dip and the brownies but I had to indulge when it came to the chips and the potato skins (which I actually made myself). Of course, I counteracted that by drinking 5 beers happens. But the most depressing thing about the superbowl this year were a few of the comments I heard throughout the evening.

-"Michelle Obama is fat."
  • Whoa there. Slow your roll. Michelle Obama is fat? You're probably wondering what that has to do with the Superbowl - well she was there. And the cameras caught her enjoying the game. And it just so happens that she will be at North Point church on Wednesday to speak on behalf of Childhood Obesity so she became a topic of conversation. And when someone said she was fat, I started to feel even fatter than I already am. I mean, no, I probably wouldn't expect to see the First Lady sporting a bikini on the cover of Shape Magazine but that doesn't mean she's fat.
-"Oh yeah, well you know Chloe Kardashian is a size 6."
  • Wait, really? Where have I been living, under a stupid rock? Because I would have guessed she's a size 12, maybe 14. Maybe I just haven't seen her in a while but I definitely thought she looked bigger than a 6. If she's a 6, then I should be a 2 or 4...and I'm definitely not, so what does that mean? Am I bigger than Chloe Kardashian??
So I'm sure you can imagine how awesome I felt about myself while watching the game - it's a wonder I didn't just turn up the crock pot and shovel queso into my mouth for the rest of the night. But somehow I managed to just turn to booze instead of food.

With Monday being my weigh-in day, I knew that I was going to have to pretty much hardly eat at all yesterday if I was going to lose. Yeah, I know, it's not the most healthy thing to do - starve yourself the day of the meeting then consume every last thing in your household when you get home. But, I sort of did just that. And I sort of hit my 5% last night. I say sort of because if I had eaten normally throughout the day, I probably would have either stayed the same or gained. But all that means is that this week I gotta be extra good. Sure. That'll be easy. Despite what you might think, being single actually doesn't mean you won't have chocolates to gorge on. In fact, I'd say there are more single people who keep Hershey's in business than married/taken people during this holiday. Because we're all wallowing in self pity and chocolate is one of the only things that can make us feel better. I know that might sound a little bit pathetic but if you've ever spent a valentines day with a great guy and then the following year find yourself single, you usually give yourself that day to feel like shit about yourself and binge on ice cream/chocolates/wine/whatever your fancy. Then you get up on the 15th and go on  with your life. So yes, there will be no shortage of Godiva chocolates, cookies, brownies and Reese's in my apartment this weekend.

On top of that, I have 2 parties to go to where I'll be tempted with lots of booze, so losing this week should be a piece of cake, right?

Mmmm. Cake....